Detox

I'm detoxifying my body right now. It's so hard to do!

In the morning, I drink 16 oz of prune juice.

Thirty minutes later, 8 oz of pure apple juice.

Thirty minutes later, 8 oz of water.

I repeat that throughout the day.

For three days.

Why am I doing this you may ask? For a few reasons.

(1) To rid my body of the toxins of preservatives, chemicals, etc.

(2) To get a jump start on Spring.

(3) To begin to go back to basics: raw vegetables, fruits, grains, fish and maybe chicken.

(4) So I can feel better, be healthier, and treat my body as the temple it is!

It's hard. My body is making funny noises...I know it will be worth it!

I...am...Sisyphus!

Now, I know that sounds like a rare sexually transmitted disease. It's not, okay?

Sisyphus is a man, who tried to bind Death with chains, and was sentenced to immortality. Part of his sentence was to push a rock up to the top of an extremely high mountain. Once the rock reached the top, it would tumble back down and Sisyphus was condemned to spend eternity pushing the rock up and down the mountain.

What strikes me interesting about this story is how similar it is to that of the gay Christian.

Here is a man, struggling with his sexual identity, going against the grain, and trying to push a rock up an unmoving mountain. The rock is the burden of pain, guilt, sorrow and fear that he is trying to get rid of. He pushes with all his might until the rock slowly starts moving up the steep side. However, once he gets to the top, right before that burden starts to be lifted, the mountain shakes and says with a sneer, "Sorry, old buddy. You've been up here so many times, ready to finally let go. But, you know what? This is how it's always been, and...I can't change it. The rock has to go back to the bottom."

Again, Sisyphus makes the long trek back to the bottom of the mountain and starts the weary journey of pushing against the rock.

Day after day, week after week, month after month, year after year, Sisyphus continues to make the struggle. The mountain continues to laugh. "I am never going to change. Do you think centuries of tradition can just be wiped out if I were to let the rock stay at the top? Don't even think about it."

Eventually, Sisyphus lets the mountain take it's toll on his spirit. Sisyphus stops caring about trying to get his fate overturned. He just...continues to push the rock up and down the side of the mountain because...it's all he can do.

He doesn't even realize that he has a choice.

Sisyphus doesn't even realize that all he needs to do is to stop pushing. He doesn't need to push against his struggles; just accept that they exist. He doesn't need to listen to what the mountain says; the mountain isn't God.

Sisyphus doesn't realize that the easiest way to get out of this situation is to simply...acknowledge the rock, realize that it's there, and walk away.

The Book of Mormon Musical

I have yet to see this show. I want to see it. So badly.



Most Mormons are afraid of it. They are afraid that it will be bad press for the Church. They are afraid that, since the creators of South Park are doing a musical about Mormons, that it will be offensive, naive, crude, and blithely stupid.

I've heard it's all of the above. And yet, I've also heard that "it makes fun of the religion in a way that they make fun of all religions. It isn't especially malicious or anything, and the ending actually is quite sweet and feel-good."

I've also heard, "Mormons will love this show."

Speaking with Jon Stewart, Trey Parker said, "I mean, who else will get an Abinadi joke? Only Mormons."

Some Mormons are afraid that this show will put all Mormonism in a negative light. But, that was not the purpose of the show. The purpose of the show is to "celebrate Mormonism" in a fun, modern way. Mormonism really is "America's religion" (Matt Stone, co-creator of Book of Mormon).

To all of you who are afraid, I would think twice. Watch the following video clip from the Daily Show with Jon Stewart, and I think some of your fears may be squalled.

The Daily Show
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God is Far Away...Which Makes Me Confused

Tonight was the staged reading of a new musical that is being co-produced by my university and a local theatre. A good number of people came. It was nice. I am excited to hopefully be in the show when it premieres in November.

After the show, I went out to eat with a good, dear, and close friend. We're basically twins. She's the smart, sassy one. I'm the cool one. Or is she the cool one, and I the sassy? Not sure. We are the same, after all.

Our conversation weaved in and out of topic tapestries filled with tales of strange dreams (nachos and peanut butter), the paranormal, and finally, to my confusion with religion and myself.

I don't know where I stand anymore.

I don't know where to turn.

I pray every night; but I feel as if God isn't there. Is He there?

Am I just not trying hard enough?

I'm looking for a reason to be gay. I'm looking for faults in the church so I can have a boyfriend. If the Church isn't true, then all I know about God may not be true and therefore, I can do whatever I want.

But, what is truth? What do I know? I have felt the power of God in my life. I have felt His spirit guide me. I have seen the awesome power of the Priesthood working in my life. I know these things are true...then, why...why does God give His children such a damning "lot" in life?

Will I ever be happy living in both worlds? Do I need to give up the Church I love to be happy? Or do I give up a life of love to be happy?

Bare-A Pop Opera

This musical revolves around the lives of two teenage boys in Catholic school. Peter is the musically talented guy in school, and Jason is the jock, the smart ass and the valdectorian. Jason and Peter are gay and in a secret relationship.

Without giving the ending away, I will briefly state that this musical has extremely poignant ties to me, being a gay member of the Mormon faith while studying at BYU. Granted, the purpose of the Bare is to show audience members how we all need to stop worrying about our differences and what makes us separate from each other, and focus on what brings us together as a religious community: the love of God and the atoning power of Christ.

My prayer is that all Christians, or rather, people from all faith-based systems can learn to rely on the power of unity and togetherness. The longer we stray from each other, the weaker we become. And...we cannot be weak. We must be strong. We must embrace our differences, embrace what makes us separate. We must learn to rely on the love of God and the power of Christ to bring us together.

Listening to this musical made me realize how far the Church members have come in terms of accepting their homosexual brothers and sisters. However, it also made me realize how much further we have to go.

But I believe, through our actions as faithful followers of God and His Son, we can help push the Church along.

Just because...

Sorry guys and gals. Life has been extra busy. Here's something to keep you entertained until my next post.

The Mormon Proposition

To all my Mormon friends,

Please go to Netflix and watch instantly "8: The Mormon Proposition".



I had only heard wind of what happened during the Prop 8 campaign, and most of it I thought was not true. I thought that the Church simply sent a letter to it's members. Oh, no. They had a leadership meeting that was broadcast, they organized a "battle" and a "coalition"...they...just didn't act like a Church. They acting like a political machine.

What happened to separation of Church and State?

Guess when it comes to equal rights, religion trumps politics.

I can't believe this.

Of course, the documentary is biased towards the gay community, but...I feel as if they got their facts pretty straight.

Just watch it and you see how much hate comes from members of the Church and...sadly enough, its leaders.

Why I Love my Dad

Last night, I Facebook stalked my dad. He is such a good man. He is currently serving as the Scout Leader and he loves it. He loves being able to go out and camp. He loves being able to mess around with the guys and teach them how to play (safely) with fire. He is so happy being a Scout Leader. He's lucky that he has two young sons who also love doing such Scout-y things with him. I believe that God blessed him with the perfect combination of boys.

On the one hand, you have me: Musically talented, gorgeous, loves theatre, loves film, loves art, and is gay.

On the other hand, you have my two younger brothers: both like Scouts, one plays sports--he can't get enough of them. The other really likes finances and my one day take over my dad's business.

My dad really was able to get the best of both worlds.

My dad is so kind, and so loving, and so caring. I want to be like him one day. He really is my best role model. When I was younger, I would have hated to say that. I didn't want to be anything like my dad. Now, I am falling so short of the legacy he is leaving others to fall into.

Love you, daddy!