When I Knew what "GAY" Meant

Day 3: How old were you when you knew? What was that like for you?

I knew I was different at around age 5. I didn't know, however, that those feelings were immoral or unnatural until I was about 12 years old. I was in the 6th Grade, and one of my good friends, Reed, was telling me a story of how he caught his older brother...ahem...you know...flogging aunt Molly...in his bedroom.

I remember having those twinging feelings of excitement again, and I asked my friend. "How big was he?"

Reed turned to me and said, "Gross. What do you think I am, gay?"

The other guys at the lunchroom table started laughing.

I played it off. "I was just kidding."

I knew then, that being "gay" or, being excited about other boys, was something to be laughed at. From then on, I kept my "gay" comments to myself.