Sometimes, I hate posting how I really feel on the blog because I know when I read other people's rants and stuff...I am like, "Really? Not again. Life isn't that bad."
But today...today has been a hard day.
My new roommate is a very sports-oriented person. He likes to take risks and he doesn't plan or organize for things.
I, on the other hand, am the exact opposite. I love creating, and being in the arts. I don't like to take risks--I like stability. I make sure my day is planned and everything is organized.
I am fat fuck. I can't even do half the P90X exercises, so I feel like I am wasting my time.
I feel like God is dead...
I want to stop living my life according to someone else's code.
I want a boyfriend who understands me...but after living with this new roommate, I don't know if I will ever find someone who really gets me.
When I get down like this, I want to eat everything in sight. Hmmm...probably why I am fat fuck.
The End.
awhahahahaha, I shouldn't be laughing, but i am.
ReplyDeleteyou're not a phat phuck Andy. Besides, that's great that you have a roomate that's into sports. Invite yourself along and go play with him. you'll be in shape in no time!
Just because one guy doesn't get you, doesn't mean that NO ONE will. I mean, I've meet some really great guys who I love hanging out with and they are on a totally different planet from me.
ReplyDeleteAlso...I've been feeling like God hates me lately. It is a totally valid thing to feel...I think. I mean, I want to have faith that He has a plan but sometimes when all the people around me are getting things that I want so bad, I think that He must hate me.
Hugs!! This too shall pass!
I'm sorry you had such a bad day. They are horrible. I remember after I came out and started living my life I would get angry that I would have a bad day. I thought, "but everything is supposed to be better now! I've finally accepted who I am and have embraced it!" I forgot that I was still a normal guy who has good days and bad days. I guess without the bad, we wouldn't recognize a really good day... or even how to appreciate a sorta okay day. I like to think there are very few absolutes in life. Today, God is dead... but tomorrow, you may find him in new life. Today, p90x kicked your ass... and tomorrow it will too... and the next day... it kicks my ass every time. But after weeks and weeks I was able to do more and more. Anyway, don't loose heart. Tomorrow is a new day.
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