Tuesday, February 1, 2011

The Life After--Part Fourteen--Hungover

"Andy," Sharon said, gently shaking my shoulders. "Andy!"

I opened my eyes. It was dark. I looked out the window. It was still nighttime.

"What time is it?"

"About 1:45."

"What am I doing awake?"

"I need you to drink this," Sharon handed me a tall glass of water.

"Why?"

"So you don't get hungover."

"Oh. Makes sense."

I took the glass from her hand and drank the entire thing.

"Thanks," I said.

I looked around. A TV was on and I was on something squishy. I put my hand underneath me. Oh. It was a bed. I turned my head to my left and there was Mike and Sharon in their birthday suits.

Oh, no! I thought. What did we do?

Then, it all came rushing back to me.

Mike grabbed my leg. Went into the "no-no" area. I did the same to him. One thing led to another and here I was. Lying on a bed. With no pants on. What? Hmmmm...where are those pants? Oh, well. I'll find them later.

When I woke up again, it was Sunday morning. Mike was still in bed and Sharon was in the kitchen eating a bowl of cereal. Surprisingly, my head wasn't hurting at all. I looked around on the floor. Ah! There they were. I put my pants back on.

Sharon looked up from her bowl of cereal.

"How did you sleep?"

"Okay, I guess." I stretched.

"Do you want me to take you home?"

Oh, do I!

"Yes, please. That would be nice."

Sharon and I got into her car and she drove me home. It was about 8:30 in the morning.

I didn't know what to think. What had I done? Who had I become? Who did I do?

I knelt down and prayed. I didn't ask for forgiveness because...well...I was pretty sure what I did was bad. So, I just prayed that I would never do it again. It was a dumb choice--especially when there were three people involved.

I got into my bed and went to sleep.

5 hours later I went to Church.

~End Part Fourteen

8 comments:

  1. Wait....when did this happen? Is this a past experience or more recent?

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  2. Way passed...like a couple years ago, right? Or a year and a half ago.

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  3. Yeah. This was like a year and a half ago.

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  4. So pretty much this is the post-virgin-lips phase then huh?

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  5. Sheesh, part fourteen? I'm behind!

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  6. @Tim--Ironically, no. This was before the virgin-lips episode. There was no kissing involved.

    @Becky--Haha! You need to catch up!

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  7. Jeff in ColoradoFebruary 2, 2011 8:51 AM

    I don't want to come across as... ah, screw it... when are we gonna get the salacious details of what you actually DID?

    On a serious note, I'm a bit troubled by this line: "I didn't ask for forgiveness because...well...I was pretty sure what I did was bad." You may have written that line entirely in jest but it is a common misunderstanding among us Mormon folk: if something is really, really bad we can't ask for forgiveness. Actually, quite the opposite is true.

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  8. @Jeff--You would want all the nitty-gritty details, wouldn't you! Haha! Well, I thought about getting more explicit, but...I don't want to offend anyone. If there was a way to allow a certain section of my blog to be over 18 only, then...I may do it. But, for know, you'll just have to use your imagination.

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