Stay the Course

For my English 312 and Pearl of Great Price classes, I have chosen to write a 10 page essay entitled, "Not Ashamed: Being Spiritually Gifted with Same-Gender Attraction". I've already got a lot of my resources and books in order to write a killer essay.

The purpose of the essay is to inform the audience that there are those who experience same-gender attraction who are heroic men and women who continually strive to do what is right in the eyes of the Lord, even when the world around them continues to pull them away or try alter their decision.

My challenge to you, dear reader, is to do what is right, even though it is easier to do what is wrong. Do what is right because you know that it is right.

Be heroic in your struggle. Don't become a causality in this epic battle you are fighting.

Sundays are Awesome

Dear Sunday,

Thank you for helping me understand some of the questions that I had yesterday. Also, thank you for reminding me of the sacrifice of the Savior.

Love,

Andy F.

Confused

I am trying so hard to do what is "right". But, man...it's so hard to do what is right!

For example, ever since I decided to tell you guys and gals that I wanted to find a girl and start a family, live for me has turned even more crazy. I don't know if it's Satan trying to bring me down, or if it's myself bringing me down, but...every time I think about being in a marriage with a girl, I don't feel "sick"...but I don't feel right.

Why is that? Is it because God doesn't exist and homosexuality exists in nature and so, it's just the way that I am and my body is telling me that it wouldn't work?

It is because Satan knows how good of a father I would be to my children that he is trying to destroy my future family?

Is it because God is telling me that I shouldn't even be worrying about a family right now?

I have no idea.

I recently turned 24 years old. I had my birthday last Saturday. By Mormon standards, I should be married and have 20 children by now. By the worlds standards, I should be at least dating a girl pretty steadily, and when I'm about 26 or 27, I could be married.

Why do I think that getting married is the "right" thing to do? What if, for me, it's not? The gospel is not the "same" for everyone. Some people will not get married in this life. But, why then, does my Patriarchal Blessing tell me that I will have a family in this life? Does that mean that the blessing is wrong?

Meh. I just have a lot of questions. I am sort-of-dating this girl named Briana. She's super funny and I like to spend time with her. Girls are confusing. But, when I think of marrying her...it just doesn't make me happy now. If I'm not happy with the thought of marriage with a girl right now, then...I wouldn't be happy with her later.

Furthermore, when I think of spending the rest of my life with a man, I am happy.

So many thoughts. So many ideas. So many voices.

I am glad.

• I am glad that I have a strong testimony of the truthfulness of the gospel of Jesus Christ.
• I am glad that I am a worthy holder of the Priesthood.
• I am glad that I have a knowledge of the Atonement of Jesus Christ and the power that comes from redemption and repentance.
• I am glad that I have people in my life who support me, love me, and care for me.
• I am glad that I have friends who strive to do what is right and help me stay on the correct path.
• I am glad that I have parents who have taught be true and correct principles in my life so I can one day return to live with my Heavenly Father.
• I am glad that I struggle with Same Sex Attraction.
• I am glad that I have this gift and blessing in my life.
• Nothing has brought me closer to my Savior and nothing has taught me more about life, love, and appreciation for others.