My Mission--Part 7--Philipe 2

Once the elders left to give the tour, I got to know Philipe pretty well. Over the next 6 months, we went from perfect strangers to best friends.

We called each other every night.

We saw each other every single day.

We hung out and went to visit castles, museums, etc, every single P-day. We even talked about living together after my mission--he, like myself, just got accepted to BYU.

We were inseparable.

I had always wondered if he was gay. He was friendly, outgoing, nice, and we were becoming something more than the standard relationship of elder/member...but...I couldn't quite put my finger on it.

One night, it was about 10:45 pm--15 minutes before we were to go to bed (elders in Portugal had a schedule from 7:00 AM to 11:00 PM). Our cell-phone starting ringing.

"I'll get it!" I shouted to my companion.

I ran to the phone and answered.

"Hey! How's it going?"

Philipe laughed. "How'd you know it was me?"

"Who else calls this late? Besides...caller ID. "

"Oh, right," he said.

"What's up?" I asked.

He paused. A heavy silence was on the other line.

"Philipe?...What's wrong?"

He breathed deep and sighed. "Well, there's this guy I know, and he works for me in my same department, and he's great and all, and everyone really likes him, and he...he came to me and...told me he liked me."

I took a deep breath. What was his reaction?

He paused and said, "I mean...I don't care if he's gay, you know...gay people don't bother me--"

"I know, right?" I interrupted him. "I mean, what's so wrong with them?"

"Nothing!" He laughed. "I think they're pretty cool, actually."

"Me too."

I had to stop. Over the past few months, we had been growing very close. I wanted to say I liked him. He didn't seem to mind gay people...did that mean he was gay?

"Philipe...there's something...that I...nevermind," I couldn't bring myself to say anything.

Philipe continued for me. "There's something that I want to tell you, too."

I took a sharp intake of breath. "What?"

It seemed like hours.

"Andy," he said, as was he custom of always calling me by my first name, "I...really, really like--"

The door opened behind me.

"Elder Artaxerxes? It's time for bed."

I turned to my companion. "Okay, okay...I'll be there in a minute."

"Now, Artaxerxes. Come on."

"Dude, Philipe, I...gotta go."

"Yeah...sure...I understand."

I hung up the phone.

After our companionship prayer, I lay silently in my bed, wondering what Philipe wanted to say to me. I know what I wanted to say to him, but I just couldn't bring myself to believe that he had feelings for me.

The next Thursday, I was transferred and didn't have contact with Philipe for a very long and painful time.

Leaving that area, I cried a little. I thought to myself, "There goes a good friend. A very good friend..."

*****
Two weeks when I got home from my mission, I found him on Facebook. His most recent status was, "I'm the happiest I've ever been."

I sent him a quick email, asking him how he'd been, why he was so happy, etc.

He responded, "Artaxerxes! It's been so long! Yeah, man, I'm super happy. I moved to San Francisco to go to school and got a boyfriend and everything..."

As happy as I was for him, I was deeply saddened for myself. "There went another option..."

I still talk to him occasionally. He left the Church, removed his name willingly, and is going to school in San Francisco still. I've often wanted to go visit, but secretly, I'm afraid of what old sparks will fly.

I think it best to let those sparks smolder and burn out.

~End Part 7