My Mission--Part 2--Elder Samburg

On February 8 2008, I had a vision.

Or, rather, a memory.

In my journal it reads, "When I was little, I think I was molested by a babysitter or an older girl in our apartment complex in Florida. Uh...yeah. Red hair. Under a tree...oh, no...that would explain a lot."

I remember waking up one morning and immediately recalling that from my dream-memories. I wrote it down in horrible penmanship. I remember thinking about it all day. I couldn't focus on my classes or focus on eating. The idea that I was sexually molested by a woman when I was younger terrified me. I needed to tell someone. I needed to tell Elder Samburg.

From the moment I saw Elder Samburg as a "greenie" in the MTC and giving his district the "grand tour" of the MTC, I knew there was something different about him. I had always supposed that he experienced same-gender attraction. However, my assumptions were never confirmed until the day I told him about my "dream".

It was later at night and everyone was in their rooms studying their scriptures or writing in their journals.

Sitting on the steps of our building we started talking. Somehow, we got on the subject of marriage.

"I don't think that I will ever get married," I said.

"Me neither," Samburg responded, looking at the ground.

I was intrigued. "Why not?"

He sighed. "Oh, I don't know. I've just...never really liked a girl in my life...ever. I've never kissed a girl or been attracted to one, so I don't think I could ever get married."

I think I may have stopped breathing. Did he just come out to me?

I nervously laughed. "Wow. Me, too. I think we are in the same boat."

"Yeah, I think we are."

Elder Sambug started to get up to leave.

"Wait," I said, "there's something else I have to talk to you about."

I then proceeded to tell him every detail I could remember of the dream or memory that I had.

He cleared his throat. "I think...the same sort of thing happened to me when I was a kid...maybe that explains everything."

All was silent. My heart was beating so loud that I swore he could hear it. There were so many thoughts racing through my mind. Does that mean he's gay? Does he like me? Does he know I like him? Gosh, he's sitting so close to me, I can smell his shampoo.

Do you know that feeling you get right before you're about to kiss someone? The air is thick with tension and wanting. That's how it felt that night. As we silently scooted closer to each other, the feeling intensified. It was almost palpable. Our heads leaned forward...

Suddenly, a door slammed shut behind us, taking us out of the moment. Hastily I said, "It's bedtime." I extended my hand and I helped him up.

"Yeah," he said with a tremor in his voice, "I'm tired."

With that, the fire smoldered out. He went back to his room and I went back to mine. Elder Samburg then received his Visa and left for his other mission. Sadly, he did not go to my mission.

*****

I have since Facebook stalked this RM and his life is fun and busy.

He is not married.

~End of Part 2