My question was, "If God has made me gay, then, does that mean He wants me to leave the Church--to make a sacrifice to give up everything--including eternal salvation?"
He said, "I now begin to answer your query as to whether or not God wants you sacrifice your membership in the kingdom. Notice the sequence of the text so far, to those who are not able to have a physical family like others in the gospel does not mean they don’t have place or a name, or that they can’t be fathers and mothers, but their reception of the promises of both place and name greater than son or daughter is contingent upon their remaining true and grasping to the covenant made with God.
Abraham’s sacrifice, while complete in terms of giving up the identity, did not require giving up his covenant relationship with God. Back in the Isaiah text, not only is the eunuch promised a better place and name eternally with God, he is also promised a place and joy here, but such is only offered in the temple.
It is in the temple where one who cannot have a family like others will find peace. It is there that you will find reconciliation and serenity.
I can’t guarantee that you will receive it instantly, but the Lord states explicitly that those who, like the eunuch cannot have a physical family, if they remain true to their covenants, will find place and identity within the temple. Yet if you are unable to enter to the temple, the promise does not stand.
I’ll end here. I wish I had a concrete answer as to why and that I could say there was a easier way; what I can and will witness, is that the spirit whispers to me is that all of his children, including those who are unable to have a physical family, are still meant to have joy. If you, like the eunuch, hold true and firm to the covenant and worship in the temple, you will have peace, you will find place and meaning. You will have a better name than “son.” You will in fact be a father.
Sincerely,
Bro. X
P.S. You have probably already done so, but I would recommend Elder Holland’s Ensign article (Oct. 2007) as well as Elder Oak’s Ensign article (October 1995).
Abraham’s sacrifice, while complete in terms of giving up the identity, did not require giving up his covenant relationship with God. Back in the Isaiah text, not only is the eunuch promised a better place and name eternally with God, he is also promised a place and joy here, but such is only offered in the temple.
It is in the temple where one who cannot have a family like others will find peace. It is there that you will find reconciliation and serenity.
I can’t guarantee that you will receive it instantly, but the Lord states explicitly that those who, like the eunuch cannot have a physical family, if they remain true to their covenants, will find place and identity within the temple. Yet if you are unable to enter to the temple, the promise does not stand.
I’ll end here. I wish I had a concrete answer as to why and that I could say there was a easier way; what I can and will witness, is that the spirit whispers to me is that all of his children, including those who are unable to have a physical family, are still meant to have joy. If you, like the eunuch, hold true and firm to the covenant and worship in the temple, you will have peace, you will find place and meaning. You will have a better name than “son.” You will in fact be a father.
Sincerely,
Bro. X
P.S. You have probably already done so, but I would recommend Elder Holland’s Ensign article (Oct. 2007) as well as Elder Oak’s Ensign article (October 1995).
--End of Series
I have to admit that my feelings surrounding the temple was eventually one of the major factors in my decision to pursue a relationship outside of the boundaries set up by the church. I had a bishop and stake president tell me pretty much the same thing that this institute instructor told you, that I would find strength and solace, reconciliation and answers, in the temple.
ReplyDeleteOne of the things I did in an effort to hold to the rod was attending the temple weekly. Sometimes, if I didn’t feel worthy to go in, I would just sit on the grounds. I met with my bishop bi-weekly to ensure that I was maintaining my worthiness to go.
But instead of helping, it became a hindrance for me. I would sit and watch Adam and Eve interact. There is a scene when they are expelled from the garden where Adam puts his arm around Eve that I found particularly poignant. The more I went, the more sad I got that I was being denied that connection.
I do realize that the temple can be a great place of spiritual fulfillment for many, and I hope, Andy, that such is true for you. I suppose if you believe that if you remain faithful in this life, you will be rewarded in the next life with your very own Eve, and if that version of heaven is appealing to you, the temple could speak of hope for that connection in the future, but in my case, I personally don’t believe that is what the Lord has planned for me (and that is a very personal and dear belief that I cannot apply to anyone else).
I certainly hope that I’m the exception to the “temple will make you happy” rule, but I thought I should share my experience in case there are others who have had the same experiences I have.
I have really enjoyed reading your professor's response. And while I read this part, something occurred to me. You may very well become a sort of pseudo-father someday to the students you teach. You will have plenty of students who are fatherless and need a positive male role model in their life. I had so many high school teachers that made a huge difference for me.
ReplyDeleteI don't understand how a BYU religion professor can speak of these things in such certainty when the apostles and prophet are not even able to do so.
ReplyDeleteLately the pronouncements (with the obvious exception of Packer who keeps getting censored by the Brethren) we get have said that we don't know the causes of homosexuality and that we haven't received revelation on the matter.
If we don't know the cause then how do we know what will happen in the next life with respect to homosexuality?
All that said, I do believe in the following principle that also seems to be espoused by your teacher: If you have prayed and believe that what God wants is for you to live a life a celibacy, seeking fulfillment through your worship and through your noble work as a teacher then I do believe you will be blessed for following what, in your best spiritual judgement, is God's will for you.
But, lest anyone believe that excludes the other route... I also believe that if you pray and fast and seek personal revelation... and that revelation tells you that you ought to find a husband and live a "whole" life outside of the church --- I believe you will also be blessed.
I agree with Jeff.
ReplyDeleteI really don't like him comparing you (and me) to a eunuch.
ReplyDeleteI can of course hope that you would receive a life of fulfillment in whatever course you take. I do note that the church answer he is sharing is basically---if you are faithful long enough, the blessings will come.
How long is long enough? Long enough to spend the next two decades of your life in celibacy and alone? Or is it long enough to reach the point where your age robs you of sexual desire? Is it long enough to where your frustration and anger reaches the boiling over point where drastic measures are taken? None sounds too appealing.
Andy--this is all so painful. His words don't bring much solace.
Joe your last words remind me of this hymn. We don't know eachother but I hope you don't mind me sharing them anyway. :)
ReplyDeleteWhere can I turn for peace?
Where is my solace
When other sources cease to make me whole?
When, with a wounded heart, anger, or malice
I draw myself apart searching my soul?
Where, when my aching grows?
Where, when I languish?
Where, in my need to know?
Where can I run?
Where is the quiet hand to calm my anguish?
Who, who can understand?
He, only One.
He answers privately.
Reaches my reaching.
In my Gethsemane, Savior, and friend.
Gentle, the peace He finds
For my beseeching.
Constant He is, and kind.
Love without end.
To Jeff's question of how he can talk with such certainity, I say, He never said he was right. The Prof just said that this is what he thought, since Andy asked. We all have our own seperate "Gospel according to us". Some of you have said that in the gospel according to you, the temple doesn't bring much solace or you have received revelation that you are suppose to be with a man.
ReplyDeleteHow can you sound so certain when the church doesn't have a stance on it?
Because it is personal revelation. A personal Gospel with your Savior.
You're not special. We all have personal revelation.
@Joe, why shouldn't he compare you to a eunuch? He isn't saying, "I'm comparing you to a eunuch because you have no balls!" He is saying don't call yourself a dry tree. He is comparing you to the eunuch in the scriptures that he referred you back to. If you take it out of context, of course it will sound awful. But he is speaking in reference to Andy's question about not having children in this life.
Also, Andy's were his words suppose to comfort you? I thought you were just trying to have a further discussion of ideas with him.
If you wanted comforting words, they are these.
God loves you. Your Heavenly Father loves you. If I try and teach my Primary children anything, it is that they are sons and daughters of a very loving Heavenly Father. With this knowledge, you can do anything.
I'm sure it pains our Heavenly Father every night when I cry from my bed, "Heavenly Father, why has thou forsaken me? Why can't I be a mother? Why does this have to be so hard? What do crack whores get to have children? Why do you make such innocent babies grow up in that and leave me nothing?" I'm sure it makes our Heavenly Mother weep to see me in such pain.
But that doesn't mean that they will take it away. At the end of this particular lesson, I'm sure that I will have grow in the way that I was suppose to. I also know that I would be doing myself a great disservice to leave the Church because there is no place for a barren woman.
Instead of focusing on what you don't have (Or may never have), focus on what you do have. Keep gaining personal revelation from your Heavenly Father. He is mindful of you. He knows how He made you, He knows your struggles. At the end of your life I know that He will be proud of you. I know that, right now, He is proud of you.
How do I know? How can I speak with such certainty?
Personal revelation.