Simply put, Boyd had spent countless hours studying the scriptures, speaking with Church leaders (including Elder Christiansen), going to the temple, and praying. I do not know what exact answer he was looking for, but the answer he did receive was shocking: "Boyd, you are to find a husband and adopt three children." Amazingly enough, that revelation came from within the walls of the Lord's House--the temple.
Ever since reading that, these many months ago, this experience has weighed heavily on my mind. I have tried to understand a few questions:
- If the revelation did come from God, what does it mean for members of the Church who experience same-gender attraction?
- Is our salvation less cookie-cutter than we are led to believe, thus making salvation a very personal life journey?
- Since the revelation came from the temple, does that mean it came from God? Are we not taught that the temple is the House of the Lord and that it is protected? (Not necessarily from unworthy individual, but at least from Satan)
I actually tried to get these answers from my local bishop. You all know him as Bishop L. He is a good man, inspired by God. However, we had a conversation about happiness and homosexuality and it is as follows.
"Bishop, I have a question about being happy."
"Go for it."
"I know three couples, all of which are gay, who have been recently married. They seem so happy. They are full of life. I can see the light of Christ in their eyes. My question is, if they are living in sin, then why are they so happy?"
He took a moment. I could tell he was thinking about his answer.
Hastily I added, "All these men are returned missionaries, who have stated they know that the gospel of Jesus Christ is true and that they received personal witnesses from the Lord telling them that they should get married to another man. Will they be damned to eternity?"
He cleared his throat. "First off, I believe that they are happy. Those friends of yours are doing what they believe to be right. Does that mean that they will be damned for all eternity? I don't think so."
Whatever my bishop said next, I can't remember. The idea that they wouldn't be damned for all eternity shook me. I had always been taught that there was only one right answer--for religion and otherwise--and now I was finding out that there could be two right answers? Three? Five thousand?
I've been trying to ask others around me; those who are gay, those who are straight. They all seem to come to a similar conclusion--they found out what worked best for them. But, is that pride? Ow...my brain is starting to hurt.
What do you guys think?
I would answer as your Bishop did. I do not believe that Heavenly Father would damn someone to eternity for doing what they honestly and faithfully believed was the right thing. We are judged on the intentions of our hearts. This is why we are so lucky that the Saviour understands us wholly and fully and that is why the atonement is so great.
ReplyDeleteAlthough I always wonder about the mist of darkness in the Tree of Life that is temptation. It's a mist for a reason... because temptation can blind us. That is why the analogy of the Tree of Life is so great. It sounds so cliche in mormon culture these days but we really need to keep holding that rod because we are going to pass through some pretty freaky dark mists and we will only have the rod to hold on to.
So can we be mistaken when we get our own revelation? What if we make a mistake? I think that the whole point is that we are going to make mistakes and so we have to follow what we truly believe is the right thing (and it's not usually the easy thing to do) and rely on Jesus Christ to cover the rest.
The highest commandments of all are to love God with all your heart and love your neighbour as yourself. The rest, I believe are teaching us to follow those. Does Heavenly Father teach us to follow all those in different ways? Well we are all different so maybe he does. Lots to think about. Lots and lots.
I think Tim made some great and accurate points. I also think lots of people in the Church would be very uncomfortable with the implications. But that means nothing other than that they personally are uncomfortable with the implications, it's no standard for judging truth or one's individual inspiration.
ReplyDeleteAndy,
ReplyDeleteI've recently gone through a big spiritual...bump in the road. A five year bump to be exact, but I realized a few things during that time, one of those things being that we are all different, and God realizes that.
I discovered it when I was asking about feeling the promptings of the Spirit. I thought everyone was lying to me when they were describing how they felt the spirit. I simply don't feel the spirit the way that most people do, and it took me a long time to realize that. I felt like something was wrong with me because I wasn't feeling what I thought I was supposed to feel.
It wasn't until later that I realized that my relationship with God and my personal salvation is just that - PERSONAL. There are times when I flat out say in my prayers, "I don't get this, and I struggle with this, and I feel this way even though I know it is wrong." And you know what? For me, I feel that's okay because he knows my heart anyways.
My relationship with God is very unique-one of a kind to be exact, as is yours. And, it seems, your friend.
Something that I heard in one of my religion classes is that while the words of the prophets and twelve are considered scripture, we have to remember that it is given to THE CHURCH AS A WHOLE. There are ALWAYS individual situations (for example, the encouragement of women to stay in the home and be mothers - doesn't work for every family). So while our leaders have said one thing or another regarding homosexual tendencies, we must remember that it is counsel that is given to the church as a whole.
Wow. Lots of random rambling, hope some of that made sense...? :)
Wow, Briana. That was some of the most wise words I've read on salvation and our relationship with God and the Savior. I'm going to remember that. Thank you.
ReplyDeleteI'll add that it is very possible that we mistake our own thoughts and desires for promptings. That can happen in the Temple or anywhere.
That being said, there are so many levels of happiness. I'm happy when I eat peanut butter cups. But that doesn't compare when I see my boyfriend after an absence and get to kiss him. So some people who aren't trying to understand (but rather judge) will say, "Well, those gay couples aren't having *true* happiness." But they can't really know what level of happiness another is experiencing.
This reply is going on too long, but I'm glad you're thinking about the hard questions Andy.
Andy, I think experiences like Boyd's are echoed quite often in the gay community. While my experience wasn't exactly like his, I can absolutely understand - both his experience and the shock and surprise you (and no doubt, he) experienced.
ReplyDeleteAll I can tell you is that you'd better do whatever the Lord tells you to do, but sometimes he can't tell us what we are supposed to do until we are open to ALL the possibilities.
I don't doubt there will be many who will simply "tow the line" because that is what they think is expected of them, and I don't doubt those people will be blessed abundantly for doing so, but it is so much easier to take direction from God himself - and it requires a bit more to do so, in my opinion. But having that extra knowledge that no matter what happens or who is against you, you are doing what God wants you to do, is worth it... regardless of what He tells you to do.
I think sometimes we homos are lucky :). We have learned to turn to God in ways other people haven't (or it at least takes them longer to figure it out, haha). But sometimes we get so caught up in what we think the answers SHOULD be that we forget to listen to what the Lord really has to tell us, individually, on the subject.
I personally don't think gay people who believe God told them to go be gay are lying (I'm one of them, haha). I don't think they are decieved. I think there may be many many reasons - each as unique as the individual.
Andy, I think that there are reasons some of us are blessed with being gay. We bring a unique perspective to the world. For those of us who don't become jaded by others, we bring happiness, artistry, drama, style and down right fabulous to a dreary world.
ReplyDeleteMy father told me something that I'd like to share with you. Perhaps the only reason gays are put on this earth is to see if everyone else will be able to love us and follow God's second great commandment.
In the bible, it says that certain cities were destroyed and every man, woman and child was killed by the armies of Israel. I do not believe a merciful God would do that. To me it sounds more like the Isrealite armies needed an excuse to participate in such atrocities. God provided that out for them.
I am still on my spiritual journey of happiness and it is hard. While I have had to redefine myself in terms of being in a gay community, I have never been happier than when I am on a date with a boy I like, or even while I was dating Casey. While he did break my heart, it was refreshing to finally know what love really tel like! And the fact that I could be so joyfully invested in something gave me new purpose.
I hope you find your answers Andy. But just remember that God will not always answer our prayers before we make a decision. Sometimes we gotta jump in to get our confirmation.
I truly wish the best for you Hun. There are a lot of us that care for you.
What do you guys think?
ReplyDeleteI think I love your bishop. What a compassionate answer he gave you!
Dear Andy,
ReplyDeleteI'm trying to be objective here.
When we see happy gay couples, we always see them to be truly happy. But, that's when we see them. How about when we do not see them? How about after 5 or ten years? Are they still happy?
Those happiness can be only temporary. Their partners might not love the other forever. They can leave at anytime, for various reason (death, job, family, cheating, etc).
On the other hand, the Church is always there for us. It's not going anywhere. It is ready to welcome us anytime. The happiness 'provided' by the Church is forever. I know the Church doesnt fit to all of us, but still it has happiness to offer.
I'm not trying to make your heart feeling down. I still dont know the answer yet. I agree with Briana. We have personal relationship with God. Thus, the answer must be personal too. Each of us has our own journey. Some should stay faithful to the church, and some other should not to.
I also think that there's always exception for us. Still remember that Nephi was prompted to kill Laban, in spite of the God's commandment not to kill? Perhaps, Boyd's case was an exception also. And perhaps, some other of us can be included in the exception too.
Hey...
ReplyDeleteI've been doing some more thinking about this matter and I feel obliged to add some more thoughts to clarify some things.
First, about gay marriage. I have seen a lot of not-married gay couples who easily break up. Most of them become couples because of physical attraction only. It's lust, not love. That's why sometimes I ponder whether the true gay love exist or not. However, I have gay best friends who were couples. They have been together for a long time and they are still together. They have been through some rough times and I occasionally help them. But that's very normal in every couple, either homosexual or straight ones.
I also just read the other time that in Netherland, the couple who had been together for the longest time was a gay couple. They were quite old, 70 - 80, I think. In Denmark there were also Axel and Eigil Axgil, the first registered gay couple in the world who had been together for almost 40 years. Deep inside my heart, I want to be like those couples, being together in happy and rough times together.
Yes, it's true that we can't predict if gay (or straight) couples who look happy now will be still happy in the next five or ten years. No one can. But it has been proven that true love in gay couple exists and it should not stop anyone from pursuing a healthy and happy relationship.
For all gay couples, I respect their dedication and commitment and I want things to work out for them, like I'm sure everyone does.
Second, about the idea of "the Church always provides happiness for everyone." Eventhough I think it's not wrong, I just realized that this idea is not completely true and can't be applied to all of us. If, the Church really provides happiness for everyone, then why dont all people in the world join the Church? The answer is because there are also happiness outside the Church. Yes, I believe the Church and its trueness, but there might be more than one true answer in this life. I believe everyone's path is different and we can choose our own path. There is no bad path. One path is not worse than another.
Men are that they might have joy. We were created and exist in this world to be happy. Many gay Mormon men decide that there is more joy and happiness available to them outside the the church. These people choose this path, because it is the right answer for them. It's not the wrong choice and no one should judge them, even the Christ would not do so.
Personally, I'm still searching the right answer for myself. I've tried to live in celibacy and I failed. My failure broken my heart deeply and almost led me to suicide action. Fortunately I can pull myself together and get back up. Now, I'm more open to all options provided in my life.
In conclusion, I'd like to say that just because some gay relationship dont work out well doesnt mean no one can or should pursue it. The true happiness can be found in such relationships as it's been proven in this world.
Thank you
Joned