Within the first five minutes, I could tell that this movie was going to be very hard to watch. The horrible acting, bad lighting, and inexcusable plot line left my head reeling.
After the movie ended, I had a brilliant idea! What if I shed all my clothes to time travel? It sounded like something no one had ever done before (except in the movie). I took off my clothes and started to time travel.
I first went to the day of my birth. I saw my mom in the hospital, pushing with all her might, and out popped myself! I was the gayest baby you've ever seen! How did my parents NOT know about me?
Then, I time traveled again, this time to the future. What I saw there, shocked me. 
What? I couldn't believe it! I won an Oscar for making a sixquel to the worst movie ever made??! I was furious. So, I decided to go BACK in time to the night we watched that piece of crap movie. I was going to stop us from watching it.
What happened next...is all a blur.
What's the moral to this 100% true story? Do not watch this movie. If you do, your entire life will be altered. I know I can't force you to not watch it. So, go ahead. Watch this horrible excuse for a movie.
But don't say I didn't warn you.
For Clarise
1989-2010
Bahahahaha! Andy, didn't LOST teach you anything? You cannot change the future. You are destined to make a sixquel to The Time Traveler's Wife, no matter how much you try to change it. (At least you get an Oscar for it, right? 'Cause that's what movie-making is all about - getting the little golden statue of a naked man.)
ReplyDeleteI am trying to think of a response. That was pretty hilarious. I agree - terrible movie. I kept thinking "Fugly whore looked better as a blond..." (Wasn't the she in Mean Girls?)
ReplyDeleteBYUMoho-It's true. I've tried to change the future to no avail. But...I guess I have a golden naked man to look forward to!
ReplyDeleteReina-So true. She is NOT very attractive with brown hair.
Dear Andy,
ReplyDeleteI miss working at APEX with you and writing stories like this in our down time.
Katrina-what do you mean? This really happened.
ReplyDeleteTat's what I mean...I miss writing stories about our life together.
ReplyDeleteWait...I think I needed some punctuation in there.
I miss writing about my our lives...to each other...at the same time. I don't miss writing about stories of OUR LIVES that we share with each other.
I think I am making it worse.
We don't share a life together...but I liked writing stories with you about our separate lives.