"Adversity helps to develop a depth of character that comes in no other way. Our loving Heavenly Father has set us in a world filled with challenges and trials so that we, through opposition, can learn wisdom, become stronger, and experience joy" (Apostle Dieter F. Uchtdorf of the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints).
This past week has been interesting. I have received emails from blogger friends with encouraging words of my choice to do what I believe is right for me. I have also read all of your comments directed to me about the world of pain and anguish that await me if I decide to eventually get married to a woman.
It seems like if I decide to live a life with another gay man, the only thing that awaits me is "despair and anguish" (Mormon Heterosexuals). If I decide to live my life with a woman, the only thing that awaits me is "despair and anguish" (Mormon Homosexuals). What, then, is the right decision for me?
Speaking of choosing what is right to find happiness in this life, Elder Uchtdorf says, "He [God] has created a map for you; He knows the way. He is your beloved Heavenly Father, who seeks your good, your happiness...The map is available to all. It gives explicit directions of what to do and where to go to everyone who is striving to come unto Christ...
Nevertheless, not all will follow the map. They may look at it. They may think it is reasonable, perhaps even true. But they do not follow the divine directions. Many believe that any road will take them to a “happily ever after.” Some may even become angry when others who know the way try to help and tell them. They suppose that such advice is outdated, irrelevant, out of touch with modern life" (Your Happily Ever After, General Young Woman Meeting).
The decision that is right for me, my dear friends, is to follow the map that God has prepared. I cannot be one of His children that decide not to follow the map. I must do what I know to be right and true for myself, and follow that path until it leads me to my eternal destination.
And let me make this very clear: I love gay people. They are, in my opinion, some of the kindest, generous and warmest people I have ever met. I cherish and appreciate you all. I wish for your success as you do what is right for you. I will never, and I have never, voiced an opinion against your personal decisions for happiness. I hope you can do the same for me so we can all say,
"...and they lived happily ever after".
Good luck Andy!! I wish you all the best as you follow your map to happiness!
ReplyDeleteI am sorry, I know that I don't know you very well but I feel impressed to say this.
ReplyDeleteDo what you feel is right; no matter what others define as right. You are your own person and should not be influenced by outside forces. (even though this message may seem influential) You are obviously at a cross road and it seems to me like you are taking the easy route. Now before you get angry, allow me to explain. It is not easy in the obvious sense. Why it is easy, is because it involves NO risk, you will never have your heart broken, your peers will respect you, your bishop will use you as an object lesson that just makes it so much harder for kids like me! It is a submission for the measly reward of sociatial approval. You playing the part of the lamb, when you could play the loin! Just because it will be easier in an overall sense, does not mean it will be worth it. You seem to, in my limited understanding of your situation, be conforming to the will of the majority. And the sentence that truly bothered me was "The decision that is right for me, my dear friends, is to follow the map that God has prepared." In ever religion I have ever heard of there have been spiritual experiences that prove to that individual that their church is correct, and with that in mind realize that the Mormon Church is only offering one road! In any map I have ever seen there is ALWAYS more than one way, or road, that leads to the eventual goal! I know, through inspiration outside of the Church, that the path I am on is right FOR ME! My path is not the path for everyone! And just like mine isn’t, neither is Uchtdorf's, or god's as you see fit to define it, the ONLY path. Sadly, only1 in 10 people will ever truly understand the part of you that you are deeming unworthy, so I advise to take the condemnation of your peers, in the church, with a grain of sugar : ). In the end, the choice you will be making is to either live your life the way you were programmed to, or to sacrifice your life for an eternity defined by those with as limited an understanding of who you are as a mountain goat. Many of the people who have helped you reach the decision you have made simply do not have the capacity to understand. Know that you may end up like many of the “MoHo's” on the "blogisphere", forty, divorced, filled with regret, bitter, and confused. (To any 40 year old “moho's” no offence meant. I just wish you had known how it would end up.) You are not the first to take the path, and you won’t be the last. But PLEASE don't throw away your life for your eternity.
(I know that you expressed desires to not try to change our minds, but I was extremely angered by the assumption in the last statement. You said "and I have never, voiced an opinion against your personal decisions for happiness." Yet, you condemn any don't follow your path as those who are not following god. The two are NOT mutually exclusive! You are not, and neither is any man but himself, fit to define "the map." I am very sorry I have gotten so heated...I am an avid debater, and what you said, though I know it was unintentional…boiled my blood, and I am very slow to anger...sorry but I just can't stand back and let you believe that such talk is not sharp, or condemning and dangerous! Many times it is the things that you don’t say that hurt the most. You spoke in a way that a year ago would have made me feel like scum, and will likely do the same to any young readers of your post. Adding your unconditional love at the end, does nothing to soften the blow of your condemnation. If your “love” for me comes with conditional approval because I have decided to follow my heart, and my soul, than please; keep it...)
-BHG
I don't want an apology, I am almost positive it would be dis-genuine, and you probably don;t think I deserve one. Have a good day.
ReplyDelete-BHG