Pretty People and Babies

Since I have been sick all day and last night, I didn't go to work today. Instead, I stayed home (near the bathroom) and watched the History Channel. When I got bored with that, I started to FaceBook Stalk people. You may think I'm weird...but we all do it.

Anyway, as I was facebookstalking one of the guys I knew from my mission, I realized how pretty he was. Then, as I continued to look at his pictures and profile, I noticed that everyone who he hangs out with is pretty.

You know the type: Hot, tan, muscular, perfect hair, perfect style of dress, lots of guy friends. Wait. Did I just describe the typical gay man? Unfortunately, this guy is not gay. However, he does hang out with extremely attractive people. I just want to go up to him and his group and friends and shout, "PLEASE HAVE AN ORGY! That way, when your girl friends conceive, they will be birthing some of the most beautiful babies ever!"

But I won't do that.

Which brings me to my next point: babies.

As I was watching TV today, and eating Saltine crackers and sipping Gatorade (thanks, Clarise), I saw a Kodak commercial:

This commercial got me very teary eyed. It wasn't because of the sexy camera, but...the beauty that comes with new life. As I watched that commercial, I couldn't help but say to myself, "Andy, will you ever experience this moment? Will you ever be in the hospital with a new born baby? Probably not."

I don't want to be a Debbie Downer, but...I don't think I will ever be able to experience what this young father gets to. I'm not talking about taking pictures, but of the joy and love that comes from holding something he created. It's just another aspect of being gay.

It's alright, though. I'll just put my sperm into a petri dish and mix it with...Beyonce's egg, and...we would have a child like this:

Yeah. That's one hot baby.