Onion, Pineapple, Garlic, Turkey Concoction

It sounds really gross. I figured with the bitter taste of the onion and the garlic, the pineapple would give it a little...sweet kick (like a sweet and sour sauce) and the turkey was leftover from a house dinner. I sautéed the garlic and red onion for about 10 minutes, and while looking through the measly ingredients that I had, I saw the pineapple slices so I decided to add those. I simmered the pineapple, garlic and red onion together for about 10, and then I added the turkey chunky-slicey-things.

I let all those ingredients simmer for about 10 more minutes. Then, I transferred the dish to my plate. I grabbed a fork and after cooling off the first bite, I bit into something edible.

Let me tell you, it wasn't like biting into the best meal you ever ate, but rather...edible. Since my fruit fly Holly decided to desert me here in Provo, I no longer can mooch off of her and borrow her car to buy groceries. Today, it's snowing, so I can't go walk all the way to Smiths to buy something else to eat.

For four ingredients that I found in my house, I would say that I am slightly impressed. It wasn't the best thing to eat...but like I said...edible.

Oh, wow...that looks really nasty.

And now, for something completely different...

In lieu of my drastically negative post, I have decided to talk about

Celebrity Man Crushes!!!

(1) Neil Patrick Harris

I mean, who wouldn't want to wake up to that every morning? His smile is contagious, he's funny, smart...and he can sing! The perfect man anyone could ask for...or me.

(2) Zac Efron

This last Fourth of July, my friends asked me what celebrity I would want to sleep with and where. I said, "Zac Efron in a forest lake." I know...that's really weird...but it was the first thing that came to mind. I mean, who wouldn't want a piece of him?

(3) Ryan Reynolds

This Halloween, I saw the remake of "The Amiytiville Horror". Ryan Reynolds was shirtless 99.9% of the movie. It made the film a lot easier to bear.

(4) Seth Meyers

Oh, the Weekend Update Man. Just look at his face. That's all I have to say.

(5) Dominic Monaghan

When the TV show "LOST" came out, I was shocked to see that Pippen was a part of it! I then was more shocked at his acting skill, and then more shocked at his big nose, nerdy, scruffy attractiveness.

And now, for something really different:

Celebrity Woman Crushes!!!

These are the woman I'd go straight for.

(1) Beyonce Knowles

Just look at that smile. She is a beautiful woman. And, she's got a set of pipes anyone would kill for. She's got a good head on her shoulders, and she's not that slutty, either. Which is good.

(2) Audrey Hepburn

Audrey is the epitome of classic beauty. She is poised, she is gentle, and diamonds are her best friend. I know that she's dead, and I would never sleep with a dead person, but...if I could go back in time and was offered the chance to be with her...I'd do it.

(3) Scarlett Johanson

Ahh, yes. Another classic beauty. She is an elegant woman, one full of grace and charm. And, oh my gosh, her HAIR! I don't think I'd sleep with her. I would just want to gaze at those golden locks. Have you even seen "He's Just Not That Into You?" Her hair...is...amazing.

And those are the woman I'd sleep with/who I have crushes on. Obviously, there are more guys than girls, and that I kept talking about Scarlett's hair. I must be gay.

My Mother

*SLIGHTLY NEGATIVE POST*

Growing up, I had a good life. My mom was a wonderful woman. She had a good head on her shoulders, and she loved and cared for her two children. Then, she had a miscarriage and lost her first child. It took her over 5 years to even think of having other kids. But, she couldn't reproduce again, so she decided to adopt and do foster care. My family then adopted my two younger brothers and my younger sister. They are all joys; but sometimes, they are a handful.

The reason why I bring this up is because I think all this, the miscarriage, the adoption (and years of getting new kids into our homes for sometimes over two years, only to have them snatched away), and the crazy things things the kids do, me being gay, and her own personal demons...have turned her into a crazy psycho.

I love my mom, but I hate the way she is. She yells all the time, she tells the younger kids to shut up, she says things like, "I hope the test results come back and they tell me that I have cancer so I can be rid of you all". She really said that. I felt sick to my stomach. Never have I ever heard such a hateful, loathsome, sick, and depressing comment come from my mothers lips; the lips that used to kiss me goodnight. Since that comment, I think I have spoken two words to her over the break. And she said that about two days ago.

Now, I understand that there are those out there who are parents or who deal with crazy kids...but talk like that is uncalled for. And that's just one of the nasty things she said. I feel so bad for my younger siblings because they have to deal with the depression that lurks in our once happy home. My mother is so thickheaded that no one can tell her anything.

My mom used to take some prescription medicines for her depression and attitude, but since has stopped when she had a seizure (she accidentally took two pills together that had an adverse reaction). Now, she longer takes the pills, and she is worse. I can't tell her that she needs to take them, because anything that I say makes her angry.

I have so much respect for my father. He loves her and yet he does not understand why she is like this. I think that they will stay together until the kids are all out of the house and it would not surprise me if there was some sort of a separation--not divorce--just a separation. The things my mother says...my dad deserves something better.

Anyway, I am sorry that I decided to throw my burdens out to the blogosphere...but I just needed to get that all of my chest. Thanks for listening.

The Verdict

Ever since I was a little kid, I made movies. I bought my first camcorder when I was twelve years old and four subsequent ones. I just recently bought a brand new one, with the hopes that I would be accepted to the film major at Brigham Young University. However, this was my last time applying and they did not accept me.

When I read the email with that fateful phrase, "...we regret to inform you..." my heart sank a little bit. I said a few swear words and I got up from the couch and went about my night with my family. I've been home for the last two days and it has been very nice being around a good support system.

I thought I was going to be miserable the rest of the week. I am actually really excited! I get to start a new chapter in my life. I get to...start over. I am thinking of transferring to the University of Utah. I would major in Communications with an emphasis on PR and Advertising. I think going to the U would be an interesting change of scene for me.

PROS:
(1) Starting over. I can go to a new school, make new friends, turn a new leaf.
(2) I won't have to apply to my major. It's open. If I want to major in that field of education, I will just fill out papers and that's that.
(3) I will be away from the Provo bubble. I will be around people who are members of the Church and those who are not.
(4) There will be openly gay people there. That will be refreshing.
(5) I get to live in the city. Even though Salt Lake really isn't like New York or something, it's the perfect size between a metropolis and downtown.
(6) I can see shows, listen to new bands, go to art museums, learn new things, etc.

CONS:
(1) It will be a huge change. I like change, but I am afraid that I will do something stupid.
(2) There are openly gay people there. Now, I know that there are openly gay people in Provo, but I know that the gay scene in Salt Lake is a little bit more intense. I am afraid of this because I am afraid that I will get into trouble. I am afraid that I will break the law of chastity my first weekend there.
(3) I am away from the Provo bubble. Even though there are some things that the Church and I don't agree on, I still want to be an active member. For some reason, I think that moving to Salt Lake will just...make me want to leave.

Why do I think like this? I really don't think Salt Lake is as bad as I am making it sound.

Maybe this is the "stupor of thought" thing...although, I really haven't prayed about it yet, nor have I thought it out. I'm just basically thinking and writing at the same time.

What do you guys think? Are there any Salt Lakers who read this blog? Any advice?

On the Air with Doris Hanson

Dear friends and faithful followers,

As I was flipping through the channels on TV tonight, I came across the TV 20 station. This channel provides Christian news, bible readings, and the occasional Mormon bash. Tonight, I saw Doris Hanson talking about polygamy and the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints. She never did once say that the current Church practices polygamy, for we do not. However, it is a known fact that polygamy was practiced when the Church was just starting out and it is a celestial law.


Doris gave some interesting facts, all of which were true; taking from the Journal of Discourses and the History of the Church. It is true, polygamy was a part of the early church.

A young man who is a member of the Church sent her an email. The email said, "...you are a fat headed pig...you will go to Hell for the things you say about God's true Church....I pronounce a curse upon your heads for the evil things you say...you are stupid, retarded people..."

I was appalled.

When the phone lines opened up, I was the first one to call in.

"Hi, Andy. You're on the air with Doris Hanson."

"Yes, I just wanted to give a response to the email that was read earlier in the show. I wanted to apologize for that young man's behavior. How can he say that he is a disciple of the Lord Jesus Christ if he makes those hateful remarks? I feel so sad for him and I feel as if he is a complete and inaccurate portrayal of a true follower of Jesus. Too many people say that they follow Jesus Christ, yet they make hateful remarks like he did."

"Well, Andy. You don't need to apologize for the mistakes that he did."

"I know, but I just feel as if--"

"Andy, the only thing we can hope for is that he will find Christ."

"Exactly...and...that's basically all I had to say."

"Well, thank you for that and thanks for calling."

"Thank you," I said, "and have a Merry Christmas."

"Merry Christmas to you, too."

There are so many members of the Church of Jesus Christ who say that they walk in the Saviors path, but when they hear some "attacking" the Church, they respond with hate. They respond with sarcasm. They respond in a way completely opposite of how the Lord God would have responded. Too many people feel as if it is their "duty" to defend the Church.

Another caller called in, and he said spitefully, "Have you even read the Book of Mormon?"

"Yes I have."

"Did you pray about it?"

"I did and I--"

"No, I mean did you pray with real intent?"

Who are these people and what right do they have to personally attack someone of another faith? Just because someone has a different opinion than them, they feel as if that other person is attacking them. I had similar experiences while on my mission, with those cocky, hot headed elders who would Bible bash against those of different religions.

Contention is of the Devil.

However, in spite of all that happened, I felt very good after I called. I felt the Spirit of the Lord tell me that what I did was the right thing. Even though I didn't formally bear my testimony of the Church, I did bear a testimony of the Savior. I believed I showed Doris and the other viewers that even though some members of the Church are pompous, there are those who truly want to follow in the Saviors path and accept everyone, no matter what their faith, religion, race, etc.

In conclusion, let's all just...be nice. Let's follow the Savior. Let's be true Christians: those who love the Lord and love their fellowman.

My New Favorite Artist

For those of you who don't know, Lady Gaga is my new favorite female artist. Of course, I still love Beyonce, Kelly, Christina, Britney, Pink, etc. But, Lady Gaga is slowly giving them all a run for their money.

I am so impressed by her songwriting ability. She puts so much emotion and thought into her lyrics. For example, one of her newest songs, "Bad Romance" has cleverly disguised allusions to the great Alfred Hitchcock, "I want your Pyscho your Vertigo stick". And it's true. Those are references to Hitchcock. Don't believe me? Look it up.

One of my favorite songs of hers is "Speechless". It's such a beautiful song. It talks about relationships, love, and despair. Absolutely brilliant.

To be honest, when Lady Gaga first came out, I was appalled at her style, songs, and just...being. Then, a good friend of mine introduced me to her acoustic talent. She has acoustic versions of all her pop songs, and they are amazing. She really has great talent. I do have to say, she is weird. That is a fact. However, that doesn't matter. Just because she's weird, doesn't merit any attack against her.

She has talent and no one can deny that. She writes all her own songs. What kind of solo artist does that these days? Beyonce doesn't do that. Kelly doesn't either. Hmmm. Like I said, The Lady of Gaga will slowly drive them out.

So to my friends who don't like Lady Gaga (that's you, Katrina), give her a chance. Watch that "Speechless" video and tell me she doesn't have talent. I think she is an amazing artist, albeit an eccentric one.

Here's her acoustic version of "Poker Face".

Meeting an Old Friend

This last week, I met up with an old friend, Boskers. Interestingly enough, I was the first gay member of the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints that he met. We are members of an old forum, the LDS-SSA.org message board. We were the youngest members there, and we felt out of touch. So, one Sunday, I left church meetings early and Boskers and I met next to the hill in Brigham Square. I remember we talked about being gay, being members of the Church, and how to be happy and be gay. Back then, I knew Boskers really didn't understand what I was saying. However, when he came over to my house to watch, "The Italian Job" with my fruit fly Holly and I, we talked some more.

Now, Boskers can see how one can be happy and be gay. We then talked about the fence and how we both are sitting on it and one thing can tip is in one direction or the other. Does anyone remember that old MormonAd? It's a photo of a girl, sitting in a chair reclining over the edge of cliff. I think it said, "Don't Live Near the Edge" or something like that. But that's what I feel like. I feel like I am teetering on the edge of a cliff, not sure if I am going to fall backward into the unknown depths below, or if I am going to fall forward to the familiar ground that I know too well? Boskers and I came up with no conclusion.

What makes me sad, is that there seems to be no happiness for one who is gay in the Church. Yes, they say that you can serve others and that will bring you happiness...but what about the happiness that comes when you share your entire being with someone else? What about the happiness that comes from waking up next to a man you love, and then...sneaking quietly out of bed to make him breakfast? What about the happiness that comes from snuggling close together to watch a horror film? There is no substitute for that kind of happiness in the Church. If I were to do those things, I would lose my membership in the church. You cannot do "romantic" things with a member of the same sex. You are jeopardizing your eternal salvation. But, if I can't be happy in this life, does that mean the scripture, "Adam fell that men might be that men are that they might have joy" doesn't apply to me? I thought that the Gospel of Christ was universal. This is just one aspect of our conversation that I and Boskers spoke of.

All in all, we came to no specific conclusion.

There is so much grey in this religious world of black and white that it seems almost impossible to add color to it.

But I want to try.

Dear Glee

You do many things to me:
(1) You make me wish I was back in high school.
(2) You make me want to try out for the MDT program at BYU.
(3) You make me smile.
(4) You make me laugh.
(5) You cast the skinniest kid I have ever seen to play in your football team.
And yes, that's a screen capture of last weeks Glee. Really? He would be pounded to bits.

That's all for now.

Copyright?

My calling in my ward is the "Ward Choir President". I go to ward choir faithfully every week. I got to more ward choir than I go to church. I do a good job at magnifying my calling.

Anyway, so there is a beautiful arrangement of "O Holy Night" that I wanted to perform with the choir. However, my ward choir director (bless her heart) told me we wouldn't be able to do it because we would have to make photocopies of the original music and she didn't want to...break the law.

I was flabbergasted. We're not going to sell the music to anyone. We would get it right back. We're not charging anyone to listen to the performance. I mean...I just don't get it when people are afraid to make photocopies in fear that the copyright police are going to barge in their homes when they are peacefully asleep and take all their copyrighted photocopied music away.

She thinks it's stealing.

I don't think it's wrong to make photocopies of an original piece of music for others. Just...make sure to destroy it when it's all over. What's the difference? Anyway, it just irked me that someone could be so tight-lipped about it. Maybe we'll be blessed for "obeying the law". Maybe I should obey the law as well.

...nah....

The Ballad of Chicken Enchiladas

I don't think I would make a good mother. I'm too emotional for that. Let me explain.

Every Wednesday night, for the past 2 months, my roommates and I have had a House Dinner. We all chip in for dinner and one of us makes it. Our meals have varied from meatloaf and mashed potatoes (the first meal) to a true Honduranian meal of black refried beans, corn, and tortillas.

Tonight, I was going to cook chicken enchiladas and everyone was excited.
But, when I got home, I realized one of my roommates failed to tell me that he was going to Salt Lake with his girlfriend, one of my other roommates decided to eat dinner already and failed to tell me he had to run tithing settlement, one of my friends decided to stay at home and talk with her parents (which I guess is okay). That left me and my last roommate, Jeff. I told him we could still do it, but he kinda got wary of that and he said we should just cancel.

I got upset. Not at him. I went into my room and started to CRY! What kind of man am I? Who cries over NOT being able to cook? The reason I got so upset, and still am a little upset, is because this is the ONLY time reserved for us as a house family. I love my roommates and I love my friends. I have reserved this time and set it aside especially for them. I guess they don't see the importance I put on House Dinner.

Maybe I'm just overreacting. It's just...I really don't have any guys to bond with, so I bond with my roommates, and when we don't get that time we have to bond...those few hours every week...it makes me sad.

Maybe I should make Gay House Dinner and invite you all over? How does that sound?

My Mouth

I try to be a nice guy. I try to do what is right. I try to love everyone. But sometimes, my mouth and words get the best of me.

I'm a pretty honest guy. I'm an open book to anyone who dares wish to read it. Because of this openness, I normally don't think before I speak or write. This can come off as being (1) a meanie (b) a big douchebag or (7) a prideful jerk.


So, in lieu of all these things that I don't do (like stop to think), I have hurt dear friends in the past. Thankfully, all these friends realize that even though I come off as a big jerk, I really am just a guy who doesn't think...and a normal, really nice guy.

I like people. I love being around people. I literally cannot stay in my home for more than 6 hours without having to get out and go do something. Some people like to stay at home and be lazy...I just can't do that. Being social, going places, taking walks...whatever it is, I need to be out and about doing things.

In conclusion, if I ever write anything that is boring, whiny-sounding, lame, retarded, douchelike, jerky, prideful, or arrogant...that's because I just write what I feel and what I say.

I promise, in reality...I'm one of the nicest people you'll meet (if that ever happens).