And now, for something completely different...

In lieu of my drastically negative post, I have decided to talk about

Celebrity Man Crushes!!!

(1) Neil Patrick Harris

I mean, who wouldn't want to wake up to that every morning? His smile is contagious, he's funny, smart...and he can sing! The perfect man anyone could ask for...or me.

(2) Zac Efron

This last Fourth of July, my friends asked me what celebrity I would want to sleep with and where. I said, "Zac Efron in a forest lake." I know...that's really weird...but it was the first thing that came to mind. I mean, who wouldn't want a piece of him?

(3) Ryan Reynolds

This Halloween, I saw the remake of "The Amiytiville Horror". Ryan Reynolds was shirtless 99.9% of the movie. It made the film a lot easier to bear.

(4) Seth Meyers

Oh, the Weekend Update Man. Just look at his face. That's all I have to say.

(5) Dominic Monaghan

When the TV show "LOST" came out, I was shocked to see that Pippen was a part of it! I then was more shocked at his acting skill, and then more shocked at his big nose, nerdy, scruffy attractiveness.

And now, for something really different:

Celebrity Woman Crushes!!!

These are the woman I'd go straight for.

(1) Beyonce Knowles

Just look at that smile. She is a beautiful woman. And, she's got a set of pipes anyone would kill for. She's got a good head on her shoulders, and she's not that slutty, either. Which is good.

(2) Audrey Hepburn

Audrey is the epitome of classic beauty. She is poised, she is gentle, and diamonds are her best friend. I know that she's dead, and I would never sleep with a dead person, but...if I could go back in time and was offered the chance to be with her...I'd do it.

(3) Scarlett Johanson

Ahh, yes. Another classic beauty. She is an elegant woman, one full of grace and charm. And, oh my gosh, her HAIR! I don't think I'd sleep with her. I would just want to gaze at those golden locks. Have you even seen "He's Just Not That Into You?" Her hair...is...amazing.

And those are the woman I'd sleep with/who I have crushes on. Obviously, there are more guys than girls, and that I kept talking about Scarlett's hair. I must be gay.