The Tippy of My Nippy

As promised, here is the well-known and beloved story of the tippy of my nippy.

Once upon a time, a fat young man went to school. It was Wednesday, PE day. Since the snow was falling gently outside, this PE day would be spent in the indoor swimming pool. Now, this fat young man was in the eighth grade. It was a wonderful time of hatred, self-loathing and pity. Because this young man was fat, he was picked on.

After he went swimming with the rest of the class (with a t-shirt on, of course) and checking out his amazingly attractive gym teacher, he left the pool with the other boys to head to the showers.

Surely, this young fat boy did not take a shower with the rest of the boys, for a few reasons. The first being, he didn't want them to make fun of his fat. The second reason, he knew he wouldn't be able to stop looking at their well defined eighth grade bodies.

As the young boy went straight to his locker he heard someone shout.
"Hey, Andy! You aren't gonna take a shower?"
"Who needs to shower? We just were in water for the last hour."
"That's gross, man."
"Whatever."
The other young boy who was yelling at him, proceeded to grab the nearest towel to him. He, in his swimtrunks, ran up to the fat young man and grabbed him and put him in a headlock.
"Do my armpits smell good, Andy?"
They did not smell good, noticed the fat boy.
"Let me go!"
"No!"
"Yes!"
The other boy released the fat one. The boy in the swimtrunks then snapped the towel at the young fat boy.
"Stop it!"
The swimming trunks boy did it again, this time, the towel snapped on the fat one's thigh.
"Ow! Stop, man!"
Again and again, this boy in the red swimming trunks snapped the towel at the fat boy. Then, it happened.

As if in slow motion, the towel snapped right at the left nipple of the fat one. Pain shot from his nipple and erupted from his mouth in a scream of pain. A thin trail of blood ran down his mountain of flab and onto the floor. Upon further investigation, the fat one noticed that the tippy of his nippy was hanging onto the rest of his...nippy...by a thread of skin.

The fat one quickly ran to the first aid kit and hurriedly placed two band-aids in the form of a cross over his tattered nippy.

The swimming trunks boy apologized and for the next week and a half, the fat one had to run away from other boys who were determined to rip the rest of it off.

The fat one is no longer fat and is glad to say that the tippy of his left nippy is fine and repaired and looks as if nothing happened at all. And the not-so-fat-one lived happily ever after.

THE END