Last week, I called my family just to catch up with what they were doing. I talked with my little brothers and my little sister. My mom was cooking dinner or something and I didn't have time to talk with her. I decided to talk with my dad. Who would have known that 2 1/2 hours later, the conversation with my dad would have ended?
Most of you can guess that we talked about homosexuality and the fact that I am gay. We spoke of many things. But one thing that my dad kept bringing up was sacrifice. He told me that being gay would be a sacrifice that I would have to live without. He said that being gay was utterly and completely selfish. He said that in order for me to progress in this life and the next was to have a family with a woman, and sacrifice pleasure (sex) in order to be saved.
He also said that being gay was selfish because it meant that I wouldn't be sacrificing enough to have children of my own. I want kids. Really bad. But I know that there are other options to having a family.
I know that sex is sex. I can have sex with a woman. I know I could. Would I enjoy it? No. Would I fantasize about another man? Probably. That is a sure fire way that I could at least, pretend to enjoy it.
I just don't understand why he thinks homosexuality is so wrong.
We talked about the church and God. I told him that I couldn't believe that God would create me in such a way that I would be alone for the rest of my life. We are on this earth to be happy. How can I be happy if I am alone my whole life? How can I be happy living with someone I don't love?
Anyway...this post isn't making much sense. But...I love you all!
Your post reminds me of a similar conversation I had with my father many many years ago - when I told him I had decided to join the Mormon church. He told me that Joseph Smith was a fraud and that the church was run by satan.
ReplyDeleteFast forward to the present - he respects my decision and recognizes the good that has come out of it.
We need to honor our parents - but we also need to live our own lives and do what we think is right. My advice is to be the kind of son that you would one day want to have - the kind of son you would be proud of. I can't promise your dad will come around - but there's a good chance he will if he can see the good that can come out of you living the life you feel you are meant to live.
Your dad has adopted the Spencer Kimball/Boyd Packer line of thinking about this issue. These are their words, not his. Check out www.ldsfamilyfellowship.org for some materials that may help you help your dad see things differently.
ReplyDeleteIf wishing to find happiness is selfish then I think we are all guilty of it. Maybe you should ask your Dad if he would be willing to sacrifice his relationship with his wife to earn salvation. I think the question would make him pause. It may be easy for others to demand a sacrifice, but demanding one that they aren't willing to make themselves seems a bit odd.
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