Now, I know that there are many MOHO's out there who may read this and be shocked and honestly believe that I have been brainwashed by the LDS church and that I am bowing down to a skewed version of Christ and Heavenly Father by wanting a wife and kids. I don't think that's true. I believe that everyone is different. I believe that love can come in many forms, whether it be from a man or a woman.
But, I want to do what I believe is right for me. And I believe what is right for me is having a family and going to Church.
Did I just recently have a spiritual awakening? No. Did I have a vision? No. Did I talk to some bishop about being gay? Nope. I have just been thinking about what is best for myself and my spiritual progression on this Earth and in the life to come.
Like I have stated SO many times before: I know that the LDS Church is true. Do I believe 100% in all of it's teachings? Hmmmm...still no. Do I believe that gay people should be allowed to marry? Yes. Does that make me less of a disciple of Christ? Not a chance.
Does the fact that I want to marry a woman make me less gay? No way! When I see a hot guy walking down the street, whilst I hold hands with my wife, I am sure that we will both check him out. And to me, that's fine...and that may be how my life will have to be.
For years I have known this girl who I went to high school with and we were the best of friends. When I left for my mission, I told her that I was gay and that I was attracted to men...and her. We talked for a very long time about what that meant for the both of us. We both decided that it would be best to just stay friends.
Well, next week that girl is moving about a block away from me. And I called her yesterday and I told her that I still have feelings for her and that she has been the only woman that I have been attracted to. I told her that we should date. She was quite speechless. She told me that she would have to think about this for a while and sleep on it.
So...I don't know what will happen. If she doesn't want to date me, that's fine. I can still go about my normal "happy" little life waiting for the right woman who will be my guide and helpmeet.
I just don't want to lose the many friends I have made throughout these past years. I don't want people to think that I am conforming to do "what the Church thinks is right". I love the gay community. I am still gay...but a gay that wants a wife and kids.
I love every person I meet and I try my best to do what is right. I want to continue to be an example to those around me. I want to continue to love others as Jesus would. I want to be loved by others. I hope that this post hasn't hurt anyone, or rather, ended some great Internet friendships that I have made with the great Utah MOHO community.
I love you all. The gay posts won't stop...they'll just have a straighter twist to them.
Whatever path you choose to go down, I wish you all the best! I hope everything works out great for you.
ReplyDeleteRemember this will be her choice as much as yours. Talk to every MOM couple you can before you try this. You are signing up for a challenge that I don't think you fully comprehend, I know because I've been there. So if you do it, be absolutely sure you know what's ahead for both of you.
ReplyDeleteI love you so much Andy!!!! You have no idea!! I am so excited to talk with you tomorrow about all of this stuff.
ReplyDeleteYou are so brave. I love you...no matter what you chose...I love you.
So, I just have a question after re-reading your post, and I hope this doesn't sound disrespectful. I may be wrong, but I kind of get the impression that you want a wife just for the purpose of fathering children. Is this the reason you've decided you want a wife, or is there more to it than that? I'm just curious, and I hope you aren't offended by that question.
ReplyDeleteIf you ever want to talk about a MOM with either me or my wife we are more than willing. Good luck in your decisions.
ReplyDelete