How I Came Out

I wanted to take this time to talk about my coming out process. I believe that one way to help others come to terms with their sexuality is by letting them know how you did it.

So, here goes:

When I was seventeen years old, I was watching a PBS Documentary about LDS Missionaries with my mom and dad. I knew that I was gay, or at least...struggling with some part of my life that I did not understand. My mom made a comment, "Wow. I can't wait until Andy serves a mission."

I felt like I was going to be sick. You see, when I was that young, I didn't know that there were other members of the church who were gay. I thought that I was the only one who was gay and the only one who wanted to still be a member of the church. I thought that a mission was going to be impossible.

So, I left the couch and went into my room and wrote my mom a letter how I was gay. I even told her that if she didn't want me anymore, I could go and live with my best friend and her lesbian parents.

However, my mom did not kick me out. She loved me even more. Same with my dad. They loved me and wanted to help me. My dad came and talked to me in my room and told me all these gospel principles and blah blah blah. I don't remember most of the conversation other than I felt like shiz during the whole time my dad was talking.

After that, I decided to pretend like it was a phase I was going through. Whenever they asked me about it, I refused my attraction to other men. When they asked if I had a crush on any of my best friends, I denied it. I didn't want them to worry about me. I didn't want them to think that I was "different".

But, after some eye opening experiences at a Young Ambassadors Singing Entertainers Workshop at BYU, I allowed myself to open up once again to my parents...well...just my mom. It wasn't such a big deal. But I was still confused and worried and...just...flabbergasted that God would give me homosexuality. There had to be a reason, right?

Then, I decided to serve a mission for the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints. I was called to serve in the Portugal, Lisbon mission. I loved every second of it. It was the best two years of my life, and the worst two years of my life. I grew into a man, and someone much more comfortable with being gay than my 17 year old self.

I realized that God makes people differently. I realized that God wanted me to be happy. I realized that I was not sick or wrong. I realized that God loved me no matter what I did. I came out to many companions and even to my mission president. After two years was over, I came home, serving an honorable mission.

I then began my studies here at BYU. It has been strange, but in every apartment/house that I have lived in so far, there as always been at least one gay roommate other than myself. It has been wonderful to know that I am not alone anymore in this world. It makes me feel great to know that I am just a normal college student trying to find out what he wants to do with his life. Have a been on a date with a boy? No. Have I kissed a boy? No. Do I want to? Hells yes.

Being gay is just a side note. It doesn't define who I am as person.

The coming out process for me has been, in all honesty, an easy experience. God has blessed me with wonderful parents, siblings, and friends that have all accepted me for who I am. Now, do they agree with my chosen lifestyle? I have no idea. I don't care if they care who I date. All I care about is if they still love me. And I know that they do.

It is possible to come out of the closet. It is possible to become a better person. Once you come out of the closet, you no longer have to worry. You can be free from the weight that has been cast on your shoulders. If you haven't come out, now is the time. Let everyone know. They deserve it.

And more importantly...YOU deserve it.