I wish there was something I could do so others could be happy. Being "gay" or struggling with "ssa" does not make us bad people. We are literal children of God and that is something someone can definitely be happy about!!! Being attracted to the same sex does not make us sinners. Not getting married does not make us bad people. Not seeing that "light at the end of the tunnel" does not make us bad people! We are human! We make mistakes! We are here on this earth to learn, to love, to grow, to become what God wants us to become.
I have a dear friend that is struggling with SSA. Most of his friends are gay and he says that he does not know one gay person that doesn't drink or isn't happy. I cannot believe that. Even if people were to live the lifestyle, what is stopping them from being happy? Even if they DON'T live the lifestyle, (which we all hope is the case), what is stopping them from being happy?
I have been "gay" or attracted to men my entire life. Let me tell you, it has not been easy. I remember times when I wish that God would just take this "curse" away from me and make me straight, or make be a better person. When I realized that being attracted to men, or being gay, does not make me a bad person, I became happier. We have to accept ourselves as who we are. We have to. If we don’t, our lives will be filled with anger, hatred and sadness. There is no other way. Acceptance is the key.
Don’t misunderstand me. I am not condoning that lifestyle. I know that the church is true, and I know that Joseph Smith restored the gospel. But I know that people have their free agency and I know that they can choose whatever it is that they want to do. I cannot tell them what choices to make. I cannot tell them who to love. I cannot tell them what to do. It is not my place. I believe that there are too many people in this church and in the world that try to tell others what to do. People have their free agency and we cannot take that away from them.
I really don’t know where this is going. I just feel so bad for those men and women out there who are wallowing in the depths of their own personal Hells because they cannot accept who they are. I feel sadness for my brothers and sisters who think that God has abandoned them. I feel sad for those who think that there is no turning back. I tell you, that there is! I know there is! We are on this earth to be happy. “Adam fell that men might be and men are that they might have joy”. The Fall of our Father Adam, happened for a reason. What reason might that be? SO WE CAN BE HAPPY!!!
I want to write a book. I want to give seminars. I want people to know that happiness can be achieved in this life, regardless of who we are! I feel hopeless. Not for myself, but for others. I am saddened that they are sad. What can I do to make them know that happiness is around the corner if they just take the effort to walk past the building in front of them?
When I finally accepted the fact that I am gay - it was like a tremendous burden had been lifted off of my shoulders. I still struggle with balancing my faith with my sexuality - but I could never go back to a life of living in denial of who I am.
ReplyDeleteWelcome to the Mormon queerosphere. I added a link to your blog on my blog - I hope you don't mind.
To your friend who has no gay friends that don't drink. They don't drink because they are gay (mostly) but they drink because that is a choice of theirs. I hate it when people tie in ones sexuality with their actions. If it doesn't have to do with men, then it doesn't have to do with their sexuality. Also, if he is really bothered by "the scene" there are plenty of gay people that do not drink, that have standards, that are LDS that he could easily hang out with or just decide not to hang out with those that do drink.
ReplyDeleteOn another note, I'm glad to hear of another that isn't scared to acknowledge that they are gay. It is the best thing in the world to do so.
I found your blog very refreshing and hopeful and wanted to invite you to mine, but you have no email listed in your profile.
ReplyDeletePlease mail me: thehiddengayATgmailDOTcom
Welcome Andy. You discuss a theme which I have been blogging on recently myself, as have others. Apparently a number of us are tired of being told that we are painfully agonizing over struggling with the burden of being gay.
ReplyDeleteForgive my bluntness, but my response to that is WTF? I have never been happier in my life than I have since coming out and finally accepting and learning to love, as Scott said, "the integrated me". So to those who "feel our pain," I say don't give me the condescending, pitying claptrap about how miserable I must be. I ain't broken, don't treat me that way.
I'm not here to flog the blog, but you can read my own thoughts on this subject there if you want.
Anyway, I just wanted to say I completely agree with your attitude and welcome to the sphere!
I just recently found your blog, and I love your positive attitude and the fact that you've accepted who you are. I'll echo the other comments and say that it wasn't until I accepted the fact that I'm gay that I found true peace and happiness.
ReplyDeleteI look forward to hearing what you have to say.
Andy,
ReplyDeleteI just wanted to thank you for this happy, upbeat post and welcome you to the blogosphere! I am also happy with who I am: gay, Mormon, and married. My wife and I invite you to our blog, notsoverysimplestory.blogspot.com.
Christopher